Before you read, know this is a long post, some of it is redundant but it’s my letter to the condo owner where I had the opportunity to write for the last week. So, read it with that in mind and I hope you enjoy!!
Dear Condo Owner,
It’s incredible how the universe has a way of bringing things together. As some of you know I’ve been on a natural high for the last couple years. My mom ends our conversations with ‘namaste’, my siblings ask me how my writing is going, and my dad is texting me quotes from the Dalai Lama – what an amazing support system. As they have no idea what I’m about to do next, but the love they genuinely have as they stand by my side is incredible.
Love is incredible.
In my last post, I shared my journey of the last ten years of my life. I left out some critical things that need more time for me to develop and craft. However, I cannot wait to share that and sooooo much more. But, in the meantime, I want to share what it is like to live completely immersed into your being. Your being on this planet, this universe, this moment and I swear I’m just as confused as you are reading this paragraph. I can hardly keep up with all of the stuff (stuff, also known as Kool-Aid throughout this post) that has been thrown my way.
Almost two years ago, I sat with someone who is my dear friend now. I told her that I wanted more out of life, and shared that I just finished watching The Shift by Wayne Dyer and that it had me in tears. Ironically, The Shift was actually a recommendation from another dear friend. I imagine the three of us will be sitting down for an intense chat of ahhhh haaaaa moments very soon.
Anyway back then in 2015, I knew nothing about meditation, numerology, or affirmations. All I actually knew was that I wanted more out of life. I worked hard, was always a bit of a nerd, and was happy, and smiling as most of you know me to be. However behind all of that I was hurting, I was sad, I cried, and felt alone at times regardless of how surrounded I was. There is a lot more to that story that I will share in a future post, but what I’m trying to ground you in is knowing in 2015 I wanted more, regardless of what I had already.
During the chat with my dear friend, we discussed how I would love to travel, I would love to write, I would love to be more adventurous. She looked at me blankly and said, “Dude, what are you waiting for? Go to Tofino, go to Mexico, you’ll be fine.” I looked at her as though she had two sets of eyes and laughed, “Me, by myself, are you crazy?”
The next thing you know I’m on a plane to Mexico, on my dream vacation, by myself. What you need to know, is that I was terrified. A lot of people told me I would get kidnapped, robbed, or murdered. I mean it was bananas how many people tried to convince me that I was nuts. But the heart wants what it wants and I wanted a pool at my hotel room door.
Et Voilà…
Between the time we had our conversation about me travelling on my own and my stay in Mexico, I read more about meditation, numerology and affirmations. I was drinking the Kool-Aid that we could live the life we want if you are sincere about what you want, ask for guidance, and affirm daily.
The process is by far perfect, but it’s doable.
So, now it’s all sinking in. I’ve always wanted to work for a larger company as a marketing manager, I wanted the condo that I live in, I wanted fashion in my life, I wanted to dance and have been dancing with some hip hop / house crazies, I wanted to stop feeling the sadness I carried for years. And just like that it stopped.
Man, am I ever getting naked in this post but with good reason.
So, then back in the summer of 2016 I decided that I wanted companionship. I’m no expert in relationships, fear marriage, and having children (yes mom, I’m still not sure about that contract you made me sign) but it was time to date. I was ready after Mexico. As many of you know I’m well into my thirties, well mid-thirties so dating if you must know is not easy. I said when I came back from Mexico I would put myself out there. I had no idea it would be as entertaining as it was. I will have a complete write up about that one day. But for now, the moral of the story, yes I could have likely dated and stayed in many unhappy relationships but this one guy that I unexpectedly fell for, no stumbled upon.. was and is exactly what I called into the universe.
I know you guys think I’m going bananas but please keep on reading.
They say you should write down what you are looking for. They say make a list (I will dig this up and share in the near future), we’ve seen the Cosmo articles, and have done these crazy things for love. However, for me this was different. He is different. He is sooooo complicated, but so am I and that’s what makes him my list. In the first few months of dating he literally has made me laugh uncontrollably, he’s absolutely nuts, and all over the place – the complete opposite of myself. Regardless, I wanted this and I asked for it. Now before you start picking a wedding date, we have absolutely no plans for a big day, what we do know is that we love living in the present. I called him into my world. We are our present.
Okay, so job, check, condo/apartment, check, fashion, music, dance, travel, love – hello universe this Kool-Aid is delicious!!
It was November, or maybe October last year that I still craved a little more. I hired a coach to help me figure it out. A lot of people who were close to me questioned why I needed a coach but I felt it was important to get further alignment and guidance on where I’m heading next. I worked with JP, Jean-Philippe Michel, and it was great. He really makes you work, sit, think, reflect, and draw conclusions. Although, we did not get the opportunity to go further he confirmed that there was in fact something missing and it was my desire to serve and help others. Based on the work we did together, I wasn’t getting that in my life. However, I was also a little distracted and crazy in love. So, JP fired me and told me to figure life out on my own and if I need help to holler at him. So we are clear, he did this with his warm smile and I kindly accepted him firing me.
So, are you guys still with me?? If you are really going to understand the story you have to live through it with me.
It’s now January 2017, my boyfriend who I called into the universe gives me my dream ring. He surprises me with the most beautiful gift, especially knowing how I feel about weddings, rings, marriage, etc. This was his way of locking it down without freaking me out. I scare easily with relationship stuff and he’s okay with that.
Things are bliss, maybe I will just take a minute and enjoy life. So, here I am now, strolling down Happyville and we find out the company I work for is in the middle of an acquisition. What the what!?!?! I hardly know what this means, I know I love my job and I know this could be good, bad, ugly, etc but why now?? I was thinking I could settle down and have some babies or something (yes, mom I thought about it for a minute). This news was hard to digest, but so was everything that followed and hit me like a ton of bricks.
I had been asking the universe to allow me the opportunity to help others for years but it was not sticking, something was off. I was very appreciative of everything in my life but the gift to serve and help others was still missing. Then February 2017 happens. I was promoted, or in band promotion, or whatever the corporate world would like to refer to it as. My senior manager made the decision to allow me to advance and have a direct report. I was shocked. Seriously, how can all of this be happening. My head is spinning, my heart is racing, I don’t even know if you are allowed to have that much Kool-Aid and good fortune in one short moment. I am not helping young teenagers in inner city communities but I am being given the opportunity to help someone learn digital – close enough, right?
Remember two years ago, I was sad and painfully so. So, this is wild… this has all happened in two years.
In pure natural confusion, I am all over the place, excited, nervous, happy, overjoyed, freaking out I try my best to keep it all together. This is a lot, a lot of goodness. Don’t get it twisted I couldn’t have asked for more. But I’m tired, I’m human, and I need to steady the amount of Kool-Aid being thrown my way. So, I do what any normal wannabe hippie would do… I meditate, educate, and ground myself for two days. For two days I sit still and let my mind, body, soul disconnect from all the stuff. The second day of my meditation ended in tears and that’s when I booked this condo, this writing reTREAT and said it’s time to serve, it’s time to write what that looks like.
I’ve now shared countless posts about my journey to this moment, I’ve shared it through Instagram and Facebook but this moment that I sit and write this post had me in tears. The man that owns this condo is a writer, he is a father, a friend, a coach, a healer and he has no idea how much he has done for me. He knows nothing of my past, my journey, or what I need. He has no idea how much guidance I need right now. The man that is not physically here but is very much in my presence with his spirituality, books, fireplace, bathtub, rooftop, he is present in every word I type.
Are you freaking out yet, because I totally am.
This man I jokingly said was the male version of me, but he’s so much more he is me. This man full of life looked me in the eye and shared that he was not well. He shared that he had been sick for some time. At the time I didn’t understand, what he meant but of course being the digital person I am I looked him up online as he is a famous writer – oh, he is also sick. He was diagnosed with cancer and I have so many mixed emotions now. I’m sitting in his chair right now and I want him to know that I can feel his love. I am so grateful the universe has given me him, and this moment.
There is so much more to share, but I wanted to give you a piece of this moment.
The next few months will be wild, but I’m confident that everything I do going forward will be to serve. Will be to give others what they need to live a purposeful life. I’m crying again because it’s my last night here and I don’t know if I will ever experience a moment like this again.
Be orgasmic in this life.
Thank you for this moment.
Love always,
Keisha
xox
PS Likely tons of typos, but I’m a little exhausted from writing, typing, thinking, reading. Would love to know, one word, or more on how you are feeling after reading this ‘mini-book’.
PSS After this post, desperately wanting a copy of the book in the photo, I emailed him and was hoping to hear from him. No answer. I was approaching checkout and I receive a text from him and he shared that he wanted to give me the book as a gift and welcomed me to be in touch so we can have a longer conversation. He is open to working with me as he was inspired in our short meeting as he gave me the tour of his condo.
PSSS If you made it this far, I will be continuing to write and complete an entire piece on how to manifest what you are looking for based on my experience, linking it into an opportunity for me to help children in inner city communities, all the while still doing marketing. Have I lost my mind, absolutely and I wouldn’t have it any other way.